The Dark Blue in my Sky
by the-amateur-with-an-idea
Summary: A really horrible angsty billdip. Dipper is a stripper and everything is terrible in his life. He's locked himself up in a hole within his soul. A dunce left in the corner to wallow in self-pity. Gideon is a creep. Stan is dead, Ford was never rescued, and Mabel is in the hospital. With no one else in his life he simultaneously clings to and runs away from Bill Cipher literal devil


**I think this will be a one shot, but I might turn it into a full story if I have the time/ we all know how great I am at finishing stories so if I can actually convince myself to finish this one maybe I'll try the idea. I was reading** ** _All That Glitters,_** **which by the way is really great and you should give it a look-sie (but you don't have to read that to understand this) and I really started to like the idea of the stripper au. Of course in** ** _All That Glitters_** **Bill is the stripper so I am completely switching up the story Hooray! Hahaha…. Maybe not. This is still Billdip but in my own interpretation of this au I wanted to make Dipper the Stripper (I stole this rhyme from Tumblr). This is going to be complete and 100% angst. Not even lying. I'm in a mood, sue me.**

 **Background is kind of important for this. (This is set outside the canon universe. Bill is still a demon with a human body and is totally ooc, I know. I have no excuse but I do have an explanation.) Summary turned short:**

 **After Stan's death, with no one else significant in his life to leave his assets to has the twins inherit the mystery shack. Mabel showed a lot of interest in building the old shack back up to the "razz-dazzling, smoke-bombing, random and madness fest that it once was" (but also desperately holding onto that part of her and Dipper's childhood). Dipper afraid to tell his parents about his homosexuality decides it would be best to follow in his sisters footsteps and leave his old life behind. At the ripe old age of 20 the two use their life savings to fix up the many needed repairs around the house and museum. After a year and a half of the two living, working and repairing the shack up to its former glory it was finally ready to be back open for business. Mabel would stay at the Shack with a few hires to help run the business and Dipper would go off to the college the next town over to take up Directing and Movie/Television production. The five year plan was that once Dipper graduated he would start his own television series about ghost hunting and would involve the Mystery Shack in the pilot to build up publicity for the Shack.**

 **All plans were set to the side sometime into Dipper's sophomore year, after Mabel was in an accident in town, a hit and run. The authorities said that it was a miracle she was alive but that did not set Dipper's heart at ease. Bill seeing an opportunity to take advantage of the boy comes to visit and offers to bring Mabel back to full health for a favor in the future. Dipper having had enough of the lies and manipulation of the demon in front of him refuses. Bill still seeing that the situation could pan out in his favor decides to give the boy a month to think it over (but has increased the price of the deal), in the meantime Bill decides to gain the boys trust to ensure that he will in fact take the deal. With the worry of paying for his college, keeping Mabel's dream for the shack alive, paying off the loans that had taken out for the repairs, and paying for Mabel's hospital bills there was nothing else Dipper could do. He needed money, he needed a lot, and he needed it now. He didn't remember exactly how he came to the strip club that night in search of work. He would later tell himself that it was the media's portrayal of the profession paying top dollar that drove him into that sort of scene. He was very good looking but had to work on being coordinated enough to be good at dancing and building a persona which he could hide behind while on stage.**

 **Up until this point Dipper has drove himself deeper and deeper into anxiety and depression and with almost no support system to help him through he finds hiding behind his mask to be the most health coping mechanism he has. Bill, also putting up a front of kind and gentleness to manipulate the kid into letting down his walls, pushes himself into Dipper's life. This is not a story of love, but of loss and fear and doubt and mistrust.**

Ever since that white haired maniac had started coming to the club regularly it had Dipper's last nerve on edge. The boy looked innocent enough but Dipper couldn't get the feeling of the man's eyes always on him. He watched Dipper in the club, many men and women did, but after he left, on his walk home, he couldn't quite place why the feeling of the boy's eyes lingered on him. He said his name once before, Gideon, and ever since, the name caught Dipper's breathe and not in the good way. In the chills-running-down-your-spine-you-can't-seem-to-think-of-something-that-could-take-the-color-from-your-cheeks-more-rapidly kind of way. Ever since his first inkling of something amiss Dipper started taking the walk home at a quicker pace. His car being in the shop conveniently happening right before all of his paranoia kicked him in the butt again was just great, hopefully all the repairs would be done soon. But right now, in this moment in time, Dipper was terrified. Dipper finally arrived to the shack and quickly unlocked the door and rushed inside, out of breath from literally running from all of the shadows. Already in a heightened sense of fear Dipper practically jumped out of his skin when a hand came to rest on his shoulder. He couldn't keep himself from letting a whimper slip from his mouth. He turned around to find Bill retreating his hand in a pitiful dog-with-his-tail-between-his-legs type gesture his eyes burning with his fake syrupy concern. Dipper let out the breath that he was painfully aware that he was holding. It was only Bill. Bill happened to be a motherfucking pain in the ass but he wouldn't kill him. Dipper was safe. Dipper was home. Bill was in Dipper's home? As if reading Dipper's thoughts, but more likely his confused and frightened expression, Bill began deterring from elaboration.

"You look like hell, kid." _I feel like it too_.

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired, did you want something?" Dipper muttered out, immediately regretting how weak it sounded coming from him. Where had the malice, that his thoughts had held, gone? He was crumbling, sinking lower and lower into this isolated landscape he had made for himself in his mind. The corner he had made for his self-loathing was imprisoning in same parts as it was comforting.

"There are whisperings, kid. Whisperings that someone is making a move. I just wanted to make sure you were safe is all." The demon smiled not knowing how much it really scared the boy in front of him. Dipper internally shivered but kept his cool as the devilish look seemed to want to tear him apart but at the same time it seemed that the devil in front of him would persist until the last chunk of flesh was ripped from him soul.

"You're not just saying this out of the kindness of your own heart are you?" Dipper questioned, obviously, and for good reason, suspicious.

"Oh, course I am Pine Tree." Bill said. God it sounded so fake but at the same time this was the closest he would get to someone actually worrying about him for once. Even though the words made Dipper feel something, that he did not want to acknowledge or put a name to yet, Bill still didn't understand the negative connotation that nickname had with him and the fact that it would never seem to be endearing to the boy even if the demon used it continuously. "I just wanted to make sure you keep your wits about you, stayed safe." Dipper also noticed the lack of 'I need you alive kid. So I can steal your soul or take control of your body or whatever it is that I do because I want to make your life a living hell.'

"Well thank you for the advice. Is there something you were hoping to receive in return?" Dipper gritted out. He hated how the demon worked, always trying to push a deal in the most devious kinds of ways. Of course Dipper had obviously known there was a threat, why else would he have run all the way home?

"I don't know, kid. Are you hinting that you want to give me something?" He questioned, smiling wider making a shiver run through the boy again. Bill suavely moved closer, coming to tower over Dipper with the few inches that he had on the boy. Dipper felt like he couldn't move a muscle. He felt too intimidated by the demon in the room. Add to that the feeling of not wanting to show the rising fear threatening to clench in his throat. Leaning down he cocked an eyebrow at the boy. Dipper couldn't help but notice that the demon never actually truly saw him as an equal but always looked down his nose at him but at this moment it almost didn't matter.

Bill could sense it. The emptiness that had consumed Dipper all day. He could sense the depression and fear. Dipper needed closeness, needed someone to be there. Needed to feel the emotional connection to someone that many defined as compassion or love. And he didn't know how but the idea had been so ingrained in the boy that it was as if even his soul begged for some sort of conformation that he was needed, that he was wanted. _Well, isn't someone looking just a little too desperate?_

The situation had made it all too easy to have Bill simple return what Dipper was asking for. Obviously seen correctly as an opportunity for the boy to grow more emotionally attached and dependent on the demon. Bill brought his face closer to the boy in front of him. Dipper hadn't even heard it. The whimper of need that his subconscious gave off was invigorating for the demon. It was not a sinful want but as if from a babe asking for attention or a sibling for a hug. Dipper needed to know that someone was there for him, and all to eagerly Bill complied to the request. Bill would not come any closer to the boy, teasing, watching, waiting, letting Dipper think that this was his decision when in actuality it was not. Bill knew what would happen even before it did. He left his lips not more than a few inches from Dipper's and watched the boy almost hungrily looked at them. Dipper closed the distance between them quickly and Bill smirked involuntarily into the kiss. Dipper grew much more needy as time went on and the kiss grew into something more sinful. Their lips parted and heated breaths combined in the chilly air of the attic. Dipper's grip on the sheets had tightened throughout their make out fest, the second their lips parted his grip slacked and his eyes opened to come up and meet Bill's. After a strong moment of Bill just staring at the other and catching his breath, he got up off the bed and the shift jolted Dipper out of his stupor.

"I should go," Bill mumbled, obviously giving Dipper the opportunity to object, pulling at Dipper's strings. Unfortunately, he knew exactly which of Dipper's strings to pull. The boy and the demon had not completely grown close, but it seemed that Bill was the only one in his life. Dipper didn't know what to say, he looked up to Bill with pleading eyes asking for him to stay just a little bit longer. He didn't want to be left alone. He grabbed Bill's sleeve as Bill turned to leave and the blond eagerly turned around to meet the stripper's gaze. After a day of such loneliness and anxiety Dipper couldn't be left to his musings, he knew what would happen. He looked from his hand holding onto Bill's sleeve and the marks on his own wrist. The fading lines told him exactly what would happen if Dipper was left alone.

Bill seemed to notice and follow Dipper's eyes from his hand to the boy's scarred over wrists. His eyes filled with the sickeningly fake sympathy that always had Dipper falling for the act of the "gentle beast". Of course, he never really meant the gesture, Bill never understood how just the softening of his eyes could have the boy approaching closer and taking more risk with the demon. But it didn't matter of the sincerity of the demon's actions or the softness of his gaze, Dipper would not be left alone right now.

He knew exactly what would get Bill to stay, it was what they all wanted, what everyone always wanted. He let his mind go numb, his persona taking over. He let himself fall into the lust that normally surrounded him in the club. "Don't go," Dipper whispered huskily, eyes half-lidded as he pulled the other boy closer. Bill's breath hitched and he came back over to the bed. "If that's what you really want."

 **Wow. Anyway, that was all sorts of intense. I wrote a poem to go with this and maybe I'll add it on if there's interest or something but I don't know if I'll keep going with this idea. I'll add on anything I write later but for now this is the only thing I've got.**


End file.
